:: The Angel and the One.mp3 - Weezer ::


Life, or Something Like It

Out of body experience.

Everything started to appear grainy. It was like I was watching a programme.

And I have the starring role.

I stared at myself as I picked up that small but sharp object, poised it over a patch of skin and struggled to do it. A red line appeared, shallow but there.

I saw myself proceed to do it deeper when sobs interrupted. The blade was dropped. And I crumpled into a crying heap.

It's a deep pit. And I can't get out.


Later, Kat

:: My Immortal.mp3 - Evanescence ::


Sojourn, Drops of Epiphanies
(an all-day blog entry)



I have to stop waiting for a muse.

I will stop waiting for a muse.

Everything should and will flow from within me. Solely.


'Twas suppose to go a-hiking with Mai, Mark and Joanne (the QA, not the SG-bound one). Dratted weather made it impossible to accomplish that.

Damn weather is making me waste perfectly good VLs. Boo.


So I've been twittering a lot lately. Feels like I've been using it as a blog surrogate. Random thoughts appear to be my thing.

However, I am making it a point to blog more from now on as I feel like I am dreadfully rusty in the composition department.


Okay. So I'm still in that pit called I'm-Still-In-Love-With-You-Know-Who.

I can literally hear all my friends tsk-ing and shaking their heads.

Just an update.



I'm listening to the new BEP album. I'll be practicing my writing by posting a review about the said album later. So far, it's been interesting.


Spent almost all my free time bedridden.

No, I haven't been sick. That was so last week. I'm just making up for all the sleep I've lost the past weeks. Yep, I've been incredibly lazy. Sue me.


I've got plots. Lots of them.

And they're all refusing to be written, the stubborn lot. Probably waiting for an inopportune time for me (i.e. like when I'm already back to work and will be unable to stop and write down details)


Making some progress though.

Yep, it's all progressive. And progressive is good.

Yay me.


I'm trying to boss myself into cleaning my room.

So far I've gotten my closet reorganized. I still need to reorganize my bookshelves

I must accomplish this within the day.


I'm a bit agitated. 'Seems that there are some poetry trying to escape my head but I can't bring myself to commit them to the blank slate.

I might have to go old school and bust out my journals.


Damn. That would mean that I really would have to reorganize my bookshelves. Oh dear.


Ooooh! I did it! I actually cleaned my room! Hurrah me!



Okay. So I was reading Tom Felton's Twitter page earlier (What? He's an excellent Draco!) when I noticed on his directory that he was following Ed Westwick.

(If you don't know who Ed Westwick is, please ignore my look of shock. I'm not used to other people being unfamiliar with one of the sexiest guys on TV. What? You don't watch TV? Oh dear...)

So anyway...I happily clicked on Ed's link and got on his page. For someone who plays a guy who thrives on verbal sparring, Ed appears to be quite the opposite, plying his Twitter with few words. But he does compensate with yummy photos. Very yummy photos.

Which presented a dilemma for me. I have made it a point to not even crush on younger guys. But damn it, EdW is just too yummy to ignore!

This is what I get for watching too much TV...or at least, ETC.


Funnily enough, EdW's character in the TV series wasn't even a main player in the book series.

READ: Bit player. And he wasn't always straight.

Chuck Bass was a womanizer, yes. But Cecily von Ziegesar turned him gay towards the end of the original series. And thrown in a pet monkey for good measure.

Odd that the TV series would transform his character into one of the hottest bad boys around.


Speak of odd, I've done a complete 180 degree at work and is now back to performing. Really well, I might add.

I will write this off as a pretty good stroke of luck. But if it continues on for the next couple of months then I may be persuaded that my groove is definitely back.


Got some more scheduled free time this month. Already plotting proper usage of those days.

Definitely toting the lappie around.


I will stop wasting my time with the contrived. I will refrain from being so myself.


I'm out of hair products. And I'm due back to work tomorrow. Eeek!


I'm rereading some of my earlier tweets. I'm picking my brain, sorta. And here is what I've come up with:

1. I spend an inordinate amount of time being obsessed with Impossible;
2. I occasionally pout my way into God's good graces and possibilities; and
3. I need to be committed to the nuthouse at the soonest instance. That or I need to see a professional.


Mental note: I will exercise some semblance of control over my eating habits.

Very high possibility that I will fail miserably with that feat but who knows? I might surprise myself by actually complying. The sight of a growing midsection can be off-putting and may be the very motivation I need to get things going. I refuse to buy bigger clothes.

Another mental note: I will do more physical activities that may resemble actual exercise.


Speak of physical activities...

Drought : 1. A long period of abnormally low rainfall, especially one that adversely affects growing or living conditions. 2. A prolonged dearth or shortage.

Yep. I'm taking up another hobby.


Okay. I think I've fairly removed some of the excess in my head. Time to go back to actual writing.


XOXO, Kat ;-)

:: Daydreamer.mp3 - Adele ::


Walking thru the Ages in the Span of a Weekend




I've grown older this past weekend. And I'm not exactly happy about it.

The only thing that's driving me is the fact that redemption is in the works.

I'm escaping the asylum; life has stalled in there. No, I'm making a run for it. The horizon holds many opportunities. And I shall make my fate with these.

It's the only way to revive the dead.


I will not submit.

Especially if the only reasoning behind the argument is both invalid and shallow.

I am not a mindless, fawning minion nor will I ever become one.

So bugger off.


So how many hearts do I get in this lifetime?

I think I'm destroying the current one with all the self inflicted pain.


Lesson # 467: Never get a job if the only purpose for you getting the said job is because the ass you think you're in love with is working in the said company. Trust me, you will only regret it.


Seriously, I'm surprised that the pain is manifesting physically. I can't believe that there is a big possibility that I will be dying of heartbreak.

Cripes.


I need a new job. Preferably one that pays as much as my current one but with way less stress.

And more good looking, decent straight guys.


Dubai is getting more and more attractive from where I'm sitting.


There's a crack in the glass; time for some damage control.


Later, Kat

:: Someday Over The Rainbow.mp3 - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole ::


Erm, No Thank You

The business of my happiness, or at least the search for it, is a very important matter to me. As that is such, I refuse to compromise it just because of peer pressure.

I will not make that same mistake again.

I will not apologize for my lifestyle. It is my choice. Either respect my decision to live the way I do or shut it. I refuse to be crammed into a cookie cutter mold; that's my idea of hell on earth.


I'm still a kid. A lost kid.

Let me find my way to where I should be. I know I'll get there eventually. For the meantime, let me learn things. Unlearn and relearn, in some cases. It's part of the process.


I'll be back to work tonight. Back to reality in a few.

I wish Tink would consider trading on fairy dust. Neverland has never looked this appealing.


XOXO, Kat

:: Fearless.mp3 - Taylor Swift ::


Moving Pictures in a Hall

I wanted to hug you.

There and then in the middle of the hall. Hug, hold, touch you. Inhale your heady scent. And hear that delicious chuckle of yours as it rumbles from your chest.

I wanted to do these things at the very sight of you.

Instead, I stood frozen. Unwilling. Or maybe, struggling.

I knew I needed to turn away. Walk, no, run as far away from you. Danger signs flash all over the place whenever you're in the vicinity. And I'm the idiot who resists all logic. Hurting several times didn't sink the message in.

Must be beyond it.


Back to Reality

I hate users.

Some people are just...so gauche.


Project Uproot is in motion. Phase One: Research in in full swing.


Tuition? Check.

School? Check.

Kick ass DSLR? Still in Canada waiting for someone to hand carry it home.

Drats.


The rains are back.

So are the mood doldrums.

I feel blacker and blacker every day,


Have I mentioned that I hate gauche people? I must've.


LOA? Or non?

A breakdown is inevitable. I just have to be prepared if it happens in the wrong place.


I need to go a-boxing soon. If only so I can justify hitting something. Talked about stressed out.


Two more days of madness. I can do this. Then it's the long weekend, baby. Finally!


XOXO, Kat